Talks with
Sri Nisarga Datta Maharaj
Q: How can action born from imperfection lead to perfection?
M: Action does not lead to perfection; perfection is expressed in action. As long as you judge yourself by your expressions give them utmost attention; when you realize your own being 420 1 AM THAT your behavior will be perfect--spontaneously. Q If I am timelessly perfect, then why was I born at all? What is the purpose of this life?
M: It is like asking: what does it profit gold to be made into an ornament? The ornament gets the color and the beauty of -gold; gold is not enriched. Similarly, reality expressed in action makes the action meaningful and beautiful.
Q: What does the real gain through its expressions?
M: What can it gain? Nothing whatsoever. But it is in the nature of love to express itself, to affirm itself, to overcome difficulties. Once you have understood that the world is love-in action, you will look at it quite differently. But first your attitude to suffering must change. Suffering is primarily a call for attention, which it- self is a movement of love. More than happiness, love wants growth, the widening and deepening of consciousness and being. Whatever prevents becomes a cause of pair, and love does not shirk from pain. Sattva, the energy that works for right- eousness and orderly development, must not be thwarted. When obstructed it turns against itself and becomes destruc- tive. Whenever love is withheld and suffering allowed to spread, war becomes inevitable. Our indifference to our nabbers sorrow brings suffering to our door. รน-- The True Guru 83
Questioner: You were saying the other day that at the root of your realization was the trust in your Guru. He assured you that you were already the Absolute Reality and there was nothing more to be done. You trusted him and left it at that, without straining, without striving. Now, my question is: without trust in your Guru would you have realized? After all, what you are, You are, whether your mind trusts or not; would doubt obstruct the action of the Guru's words and make them inoperative? Maharaja: You have said it--they would have been made in- operative--for a time.
Q: And what would happen to the energy, or power in the Guru's words?
M: It would remain latent, unmanifested. But the entire question is based on a misunderstanding. The master, the disciple, the love and trust between them, these are one fact, not so many independent facts. Each is a part of the other. Without love and trust there would have been no Guru nor disciple, and no rela- tionship between them. It is like pressing a switch to light an electric lamp. It is because the lamp, the wiring, the switch, the transformer, the transmission lines and the power house form a single whole, that you get the light. Any one factor missing and there would be no light. You must not separate the inseparable. Words do not create facts; they either describe them or distort. The fact is always non-verbal.
Q: I still do not understand; can the Guru's word remain unfulfil- led or will it invariably prove true? .
M: Words of a realized man never miss their purpose. They wait for the right conditions to arise which may take some time, and. 4~ 1 AM THAT this is natural, for there is a season for sowing and a season for harvesting. But the word of a Guru is a seed that cannot perish. Of course, I he Guru must be a real one, who is beyond the body and the mind, beyond consciousness itself, beyond space and time, beyond duality and unity, beyond understanding and de- scription. The good people! who have read a lot and have a lot to say, may teach you many useful things, but they are not the real Gurus whose words invariably.y come true. They also may ten you that you are the ultimate reality itself, but what of-it? 0: Nevertheless, if for some reason I happen to trust them and obey, shall I be the loser?
M: If you are able to trust and obey, you will soon find your real Guru, or, rather, he will find you.
Q: Does every knower of title Self become a Guru, or can one be a knower of Reality without being able to take others to it? M. If you know what you teach, you can teach what you Knox, Here seer ship and teacher ship are one. But the Absolute Rea ivy is beyond both. The self-styled Gurus talk of ripeness and ef fort, of merits and achievements, of destiny and grace; all Thea - are mere mental formations, projections of an addicted mint Instead of helping, they obstruct.
Q: How can I make out whom to follow and whom to mistrust?
M: Mistrust all, until you are convinced. The true Guru will never humiliate you, nor will he estrange you from yourself. He we; constantly bring you back to the fact of your inherent perfecho and encourage you to seek within. He knows you need nothing not even him, and IS never tired of reminding you. But the self- appointed Guru is more concerned with himself than with h disciples.
Q: You said that reality is beyond the knowledge and the teach in of the real. Is not the knowledge of reality the supreme itself and teaching the proof of its attainment?
M: The knowledge of the real, or the self, is a state of mind. Teaching another is a movement in duality. They concern the mind only; sattva is a Guna all the same.
Q: What is real then?
M: He who knows the mind as non-realized and realized, who THE TRUE GURI J 4~.~ knows ignorance and knowledge as states of mind, he is the real. When you are given diamonds mixed with gravel, you may either miss the diamonds or find them. It is the seeing that mat- ters. Where is the grayness of the gravel and the beauty of the diamond, without the power to see? The known is but a shape and knowledge is but a name. The knower is but a state of mind. The real is beyond.
Q: Surely, objective knowledge and ideas of things and self- knowledge are not one and the same thing. One needs a brain, the other does not.
M: For the purpose of discussion you can arrange words and give them meaning, but the fact remains that all knowledge is a form of ignorance. The most accurate map is yet only paper. All knowledge is in memory; it is only recognition, while reality is beyond the duality of the knower and the known.
Q: Then by what is reality known?
M: How misleading is your language! You assume, uncon- sciously, that reality also is approachable through knowledge. And then you will bring in a knower of reality beyond reality! Do understand that to be, reality need not be known. Ignorance and knowledge are in the mind, not in the real.
Q: If there is no such thing as the knowledge of the real, then how do I reach it?
M: You need not reach out for what is already with you. Your very reaching out makes you miss it. Give up the idea that you have not found it and just let it- come into the focus of direct per- ception, here and now, by removing all that is of the mind.
Q: When all that can go, goes, what remains?
M: Emptiness remains, awareness remains, pure light of the conscious being remains. It is like asking what remains of a room when all the furniture is removed? A most serviceable room remains. And when even the walls are pulled down, space remains Beyond space and time is the here and the now of real- ity.
Q: Does the witness remain?
M: As long as there is consciousness, its witness is also there. The two appear and disappear together.. 424 1 AM THAT
Q: If the witness too is transient, why is he given so much im- portance?
M: Just to break the spell of the known, the illusion that only the perceivable is real.
Q: Perception is primary, the witness--secondary.
M: This is the heart of the matter. As long as you believe that only the outer world is real, you remain its slave. To become free, your attention must be drawn to the 'I am', the witness. Of course, the knower and the known are one not two, but to break the spell of the known the knower must be brought to the fore- front. Neither is primary, both are reflections in memory of the ineffable experience, ever new and ever now, untranslatable, quicker than the mind. a Sir, J am . n humble seeker, wandering from Guru to Guru in search of release. My mind is sick, burning with desire, frozen with fear. My days flit by, red with pain,~grey with boredom. My age is advancing, my health decaying, my future dark and frigh- tening. At this rate I shall live in sorrow and die in despair. Is there any hope for me? O,r have I come too late?
M: Nothing is wrong with you, but the ideas you have of yourself are altogether wrong. It is not you who desires, fears and suf- fers, it is the person built on the foundation of your body by cir- cumstances and influences. You are not that person. This rust be clearly established in your mind and never lost sight of. Nor- mally, it needs a prolonged sadhana, years of austerities and meditation.
Q: My mind is weak and vaccinating. I have neither the strength nor the tenacity for sadhana. My case, is hopeless.
M: In a way yours is a most hopeful case. There is an alternative to sadhana, which is trust. If you cannot have the conviction born from fruitful search, then take advantage of my discovery, which I am so eager to share with you. I can see with the utmost clarity that you have never been, nor are, nor will be estranged from realty, that you are the fullness of perfection here and now and that nothing can deprive you of your heritage, of what you are. You are in no way different from me, only you do not know it. You do not know what you are and therefore you imagine your- THE TRUE GURU 425 self to be what you are not. Hence desires and fear and over- whelming despair. And meaningless activity in order to escape. Just trust me and live by trusting me. I shall not mislead you. You are the Supreme Reality beyond the world and its creator, beyond consciousness and its witness, beyond all assertions and denials. Remember it, think of it, act on it. Abandon all sense of separation, see yourself in all and act accordingly. With action bliss will come and, with bliss, conviction. After all, you doubt yourself because you are in sorrow. Happiness, natural, spontaneous and lasting cannot be imagined. Either it is there, or it is not. Once you begin Jo experience the peace, love and happiness which need no outer causes, all your doubts will dissolve. Just catch hold of what I told you and live bv it.
Q: You are telling me to live by memory?
M: You are living by memory anyhow. I am merely asking you to replace the old memories by the memory of what I told you. As you were acting on your old memories, act on the new one. Don't be afraid. For some time there is bound to be a conflict be- tween the old and the new, but if you put yourself resolutely on the side of the new, the strife will soon come to an end and you will realize the effortless state of being oneself, of not being ~e- celved by desires and fears born of illusion.
Q: Many Gurus have the habit of giving tokens of their grace-- their head cloth, or their sticks, or begging bowl, or robe, thus transmitting or confirming the self-realization of their disciples. I can see no value in such practices. It is not self-realization that is transmitted, but self-importance. Of what earthly use is being told something very flattering, but not true? On one hand you are warning me against the many self-styled Gurus, on the other you want me to trust you. Why do you claimto be an exception?
M: I do not ask you to trust me. Trust my words and remember them, I want your happiness, not mine. Distrust those who put a distance between you and your true being and offer themselves as a go-between. I do nothing of the kind. I do not even make any promises. I merely say: if you trust my words and put them to test, you will for yourself discover how absolutely true I hey are. If you ask for a proof before you venture, I can only say: I 426 1 AM THAT am the proof. I did trust my teacher's words and kept them in my mind and I did find that he was right, that I was, am and shall be the Infinite Reality, embracing all, transcending all. As you say, you have neither the time nor the energy for lengthy practices. I offer you an alternative. Accept my words on trust and I've anew, or live and die in sorrow.
Q: It seems too good to be true.
M: Don't be misled by the simplicity of the advice. '\very few are those who have the courage to trust the innocent and the sim- ple. To know that you are a prisoner of your mind, that you live in an imaginary world of your own creation is the dawn of wisdom. To want nothing of it, to be ready to abandon it entirely, is ear- nestness. Only such earnestness, born of true despair, will make you trust me.
Q: Have l not suffered enough?
M: Suffering has made you dull, unable to see its enormity. Your first task is to see the sorrow in you and around you; your next to long intensely for liberation. The very intensity of longing will guide you; you need no other guide.
Q: Suffering has made me dull, indifferent even to itself.
M: Maybe it is not sorrow but pleasure that made you dull. In- vestigate.
Q: Whatever may be the cause; I am dull. I have neither the will nor the energy.
M: Oh, no. You have enough for the first step. And each step will generate enough energy for the next. Energy comes with confidence and confidence comes with experience.
Q: Is it right to change Gurus?
M: Why not change? Gurus are like milestones? It is natural to move on from one to another. Each tells you the direction and the distance, while the sad guru, the eternal Guru, is the road it- self. Once you realize that the road is the goal and that you are always on the road, not to reach a goal, but to enjoy its beauty and its wisdom, life ceases to be a task and becomes natural and simple, in itself an ecstasy.
Q: So, there is no need to worship, to pray, to practice Yoga? THE TRUE GURU 427 I aught ox Dansly sweep!ng, washing and bathing can do no harm. Self-awareness tells you at every step what needs be done. When all is done, the mind remains quiet. Now you are in the waking state, a person with name and shape, joys and sorrows. The person was not there before you were born, nor will be there after you die. Instead of struggling with the person to make it become what it is not, why not go beyond the waking state and leave the personal life altogether? It does not mean the extinction of the person; it means only se- eing it in right perspective.
Q: One more question. You said that before I was born I was one with the pure being of reality; if so, who decided that I should be born?
M: In reality you were never born and never shall die. But now you imagine that you are, or have a body and you ask what has brought about this state. Within the limits of illusion the answer is: desire born from memory attracts you to a body and makes you think as one with it. But this is true only from the relative point of view. In fact, there is no body, nor a world to contain it; there is only a mental condition, a dream-like state, easy to dis- pel by questioning its reality.
Q: After you die, will you come again? If I live long enough, will I meet you again.
M: To you the body is real, to me there is none. 1, as you see me, exist in your imagination only. Surely, you will see me again, if and when you need me. It does not affect me, as the Sun is not affected by sunrises and sunsets. Because it is not affected, it is certain to be there when needed. You are bent on knowledge, I am not. I do not have that sense of insecurity that makes you crave to know. I am curious, like a child is curious. But there is no anxiety to make me seek refuge in knowledge. Therefore, 1 am not concerned whether I shall be reborn, or how long will the world last. These are questions born of fear. Your Goal is Your Guru 84
Questioner: You were telling us that there are many self-styled Gurus, but a real Guru is very rare. There are many nannies who imagine themselves realized, but all they have is book know- ledge and a high opinion of themselves. Sometimes they im- press, even fascinate, attract disciples and make them waste their time in useless practices. After some years, when the dis- ciple takes stock of himself, he finds no change. When Fe com- plains to his teacher, he gets the usual rebuke that he dip not try hard enough. The blame is on the lack of faith and love in the heart of the disciple, while in reality the blame is on the Guru, who had no business in accepting disciples and raising their hopes. How to protect oneself from such Gurus? Maharaja: Why be so concerned with others? Whoever may be the Guru, if he is pure of heart and acts in good faith, he will do his disciples no harm. If there is no progress, the fault lies with the disciples, their laziness and lack of self-control. On the other hand, if the disciple is earnest and applies himself intelligently and with zest to his sadhana, he is bound to meet a more qual- ified teacher, who will take him further. Your question flows from three false assumptions: that one needs concern oneself with others; that one can evaluate another and that the progress of the disciple is the task and responsibility of his Guru. In reality, the Guru's role is only to instruct and encourage; the disciple is totally responsible for himself.
Q: We are told that total surrender to the Guru is enough, that the Guru will do the rest.
M: Of course, when there is total surrender, complete relin- quishment of all concern with one's past, presents and future, with one's physical and spiritual security and start ding, a new Yt~lJR GOAL IS YOUR GURU 429 life dawns, full of love and beauty; then the Guru is not impor- tant, for the disciple has broken the shell of self-defence. Com- plete self-surrender by itself is liberation.
Q: When both the disciple and his teacher are inadequate, what will happen?
M: In the long run al~will be well. After all, the real Self of both is not affected by the comedy they play for a time. They will sober up and ripen and shift to a higher level of relationship. a Or, they may separate.
M: Yes, they may separate. After all, no relationship is forever. Duality is a temporary state.
Q: Is it by accident that I met you and by another accident shall we separate never to meet again? Or is my meeting you a part of some cosmic pattern, a fragment in the great drama of our lives?
M: the real is meaningful and the meaningful relates to reality. If our relationship is meaningful to you and me, it cannot be ac- cidental. The future affects the present as much, as the past.
Q: How can I make out who is a real saint and who is not?
M: You cannot, unless you have a clear insight into the heart of man. Appearances are deceptive. To see clearly, your mind must be pure and unattached. Unless you know yourself well, how can you know another? And when you know yourself--you are the other. Leave others alone for so~ne time and examine yourself. There are so many things you do not know about yourself what are you, who are you, how did you come to be born, what are you doing now and why, where are you going, what is the meaning and purpose of yourlife, your death, your future? Have you a past, have you a future? How did you come to live in tur- moil and sorrow, while your entire being strives for happiness and peace? These are weighty matters and have to be attended to first. You have no need, nor time for finding who is a nanny and who is not?
Q: ! must select my guru rightly.
M: Be the right man and the right Guru will surely find you.. 380 1 AM THAT light, the picture and the screen. Even the film of destiny (prarabdha) is self-selected and self-imposed. The spirit is a sport and enjoys to overcome obstacles. The harder the task the deeper and wider his self-realization. ~ Man is not the Doer 93
Questioner: From the beginning of my life I am pursued by a sense of incompleteness. From school to college, to work, to marriage, to affluence, I imagined that the next thir,g will surely give me peace, but there was no peace. This sense of unfulfil- ment keeps on growing as years pass by.
Maharaj: As long as there is the body and the sense of identity with the body, frustration is inevitable. Only when you know yourself as entirely alien to and different from the body, will you find respite from the mixture of fear and craving inseparable from 'I-am-the-body' idea. Merely assuaglng fears and satisfy- ing desires will not remove this sense of emptiness you are try- ing to escape from; only self-knowledge can help you. By self- knowledge I mean full knowledge of what you are not. Such knowledge is attainable and final; but to the discovery of what you are there can be no end. The more you discover, the more there remains to discover.
Q: For this we must have different parents and schools, live in a different society.
M: YOL; cannot change your circumstances, but your attitudes MAN IS NOT THE DOER 481 you can change. You need not be attached to the non- essentials. Only the necessary is good. There is peace only in the essential.
Q: It is truth I seek, not peace.
M: You cannot see the true unless you are at peace. A quiet mind is essential for right perception, which again is required for self-realization .
Q: I have so much to do. I just cannot afford to keep my mind quiet.
M: It is because of your illusion that you are the doer. In reality things are done to you, not by you.
Q: If I just let things happen, how can I be sure that they will happen my way? Surely I must bend them to my desire.
M: Your desire just happens to you along with its fulfilment, or non-fulfilment. You can change neither. You may believe that you exert yourself, strive and struggle. Again, it all merely hap- pens, including the fruits of the work. Nothing is by you and for you. All is in the picture exposed on the cinema screen, nothing in the light, including what you take yourself to be, the person. You are the li~ht only.
Q: If I am light on~y, how did I come to forget it?
M: You have not forgotten. It is in the picture on the screen that you forget and then rernember. You never cease to be a man because you dream to be a tiger. Similarly you are pure light appearing as a picture on the screen and also becoming one with it.
Q: Since all happens, why should I worry?
M: Exactly. Freednm is freedom from worry. Having realized that you cannot influence the results, pay no attention to your desires and fears. Let them come and go. Don't give them the nourishment of interest and at~ention.
Q: If I turn my attention from what happens, what am I to live by?
M: Again it is like asking: 'What shall I do, if I stop dreaming?' Stop and see. You need not be anxious: 'What next?' There is always the next. Life does not begin nor,end: immovable--it 482 1 AM THAT MAN lS NoT THF DoFR ~IAA moves, momentary--it lasts. Light can not be exhausted even if innumerable pictures are projected by it. So does life fill every shape to the brim and return to its source, when the shape breaks down.
Q: If life is so wonderful, how could ignorance happen?
M: You want to treat the disease without having seen the pa- tient! Before you ask about ignorance, why don't you enquire first, who is the ignorant? When you say you are ignorant, you do not know that you have imposed the concept of ignorance over the actual state of your thoughts and feelings. Examine ;hem as they occur, give them your full attention and you will tind that there is nothing like ignorance, only inattention. Give attention to what worries you, that is all. After all, worry is mental pain and pain is invariably a call for attention. The moment you give atten- tion, the call for it ceases and the question of ignorance dissol- ves. Instead of waiting.for an answer to your question, find out who is asking the question and what makes him ask it. You will soon find that it is the mind, goaded by fear of pain, that asks the question. And in fear there is memory and anticipation, past and future. Attention brings you back to the present, the now, and the presence in the now is a state ever at hand, but rarely noticed.
Q: You are reducing sadhana to simple attention. How is it that other teachers teach complete, difficult and time-consuming courses?
M: The Gurus usually teach the sadhanas by which they them- selves have reached their goal, whatever their goal may be. This is but natural, for their own sadhana they know intimately. I was taught to give attention to my sense of 'I am and I found it supremely effective. Therefore, I can speak of it with full confi- dence. But often people come with their bodies, brain and minds so mishandled, perverted and weak, that the state of formless attention is beyond them. In such cases, some simpler token of earnestness is appropriate. The repetition of a mantra, or gazing at a picture will prepare their body and mind for a deeper and more direct search. After all, it is earnestness that is indispensable, the crucial factor. Sadhana is only a vessel and it must be filled to the brim with earnestness, which is but love in action. For nothing can be done without love.
Q: We love only ourselves.
M: Were it so, it would be splendid! Love your self wisely and you will reach the summit of perfection. Everybody loves his body, but few love their real being.
Q: Does my real being need my love?
M: Your real being is love itself and your many loves are its re- flections according tc the situation at the moment.
Q: We are selfish, we know only self-love.
M: Good enough for a start. By all means wish yourself well. Think over, feel out deeply what is really good for you and strive for it earnestly. Very soon you will find that the real is your only good.
Q: Yet I do not understand why the various Gurus insist on pre- scribing complicated and difficult sadhanas. Don't they know better?
M: It is not what you do, but what you stop doing that matters. The people who begin their sadhana are so feverish and rest- less, that they have to be very busy to keep themselves on the track An absorbing routine is good for them. After some time they quieten down and turn away from effort. In peace and sil- ence the skin of the 'I' dissolves and the inner and the outer be- come one. The real sadhana is effortless.
Q: I have sometimes the feeling that space itself is my body.
M: When you are-bound by the illusion: 'I am this body', you are merely a point in space and a moment in time. When the self- identification with the body is no more, all space and time are in your mind, which is a mere ripple in cons,ciousness, which is awareness r'eflected in nature. Awareness and matter are the active and the passive aspects of pure being, which is in both and beyond both. Space and time are the body and the mind of the universal existence. My feeling is that all that happens in space and time happens to me, that every experience is my ex- perience every form is my form. What I take myself to be, be- comes my body and all that happens to that body becomes my mind. But at the root of the universe there is pure awareness, beyond space and time, here and now. Know it to be your r ~ 4S4 1 AM THAT ~eing an~ act accordingly. ~: What difference will it make in action what I take myself to be. Actions just happen according to circumstances.
M: Circumstances and conditions rule the ignorant. The knower of reality is not compelled. The only law he obeys is that of love. You are Beyond Space and Time 94
Questioner: You keep on saying that I was never born and will never die. If so, how is it that I see the world as one which has been born and will surely die?
Maharaj: You believe so because you have never questioned your belief that you are the body which, obviously, is born and dies. While alive, it attracts attention and fascinates so com- pletely that rarely does one perceive one's real nature. It is like seeing the surface of the ocean and comp~etely forgetting the immensity beneath. The world is but the surface of the mind and the mind is infinite. What we call thoughts are just ripples in the mind. When the mind is quiet it reflects reality. When it is motion- less through and through, it dissolves and only reality remains. This reality is so concrete, so actual, so much more tangible than mind and matter, that co,-npared to it even diamond is soft like butter. This overwhelming actuality makes the world dream- like, misty, irrelevant. YOU ARE BEYOND SPACE AND TIME 485
Q: This world, with so much suffering in it, how can you see it as irrelevant. What callousness!
M: It is you who is callous, not me. If your world is so full of suf- fering, do something about it; don't add to it through greed or indolence. I am not bound by your dreamlike world. In my world the seeds of suffering, desire and fear are not sown and suffer- ing does not grow. My world is free from opposites, of mutally destnictive discrepancies; harmony. pervades; its peace is rocklike; this peace and silence are my body.
Q: What you say reminds me of the dharmakaya OT Ine ~uaana.
M: May be. We need not run off with terminology. Just see the person you imagine yourself to be as a part of the world you perceive within your mind and look at the mind from the outside, for you are not the mind. After all, your only problem is the eager self-identification with whatever you perceive. Give up this habit, remember that you are not what you perceive, use your power of alert aloofness. See yourself in all that lives and yoyr behaviour will express your vision. Once you realize that there is nothing in this world, which you can call your own, you look at it from the outside as you look at a play on the stage, or a picture on the screen, admiring and enjoying, but really unmoved. As long as you imagine yourself to be something tangible and soli.d, a thing among things, actually existing in time and space, shortlived and vulnerable, naturally you will be anxious to sur- vive and increase. But when you know yourself as beyond space and time--in contact with them only at the point of here and now, otherwise all-pervading and all-containing, unap- proachable, unassailable, invulnerable--you will be afraid no longer. Know yourself as you are--against fear there is no other remedy. You have to learn to think and feel on these lines, or you will remain indefinitely on the personal level of desire and fear, gain- ing and losing, growing and decaying. A personal problem cannot be solved on its own level. The ve!y desire to live is the. messenger of death, as the longing to be happy is the outline of sorrow. The world is an ocean of pain and fear, of anxiety and despair. Pleasures are like the fishes, few and swift, rarely come, quickly gone. A man of low intelligence believes, against 486 1 AM THAT all evidence, that he is an exception and that the world owes him happiness. But the world cannot give what it does not have unreal to the core, it is of no use for real happiness. It cannot be otherwise. We seek the real because we are unhappy with the unreal. Happiness is our real nature and we shall never rest until we find it. But rarely we know where to seek it. Once you have understood that the world is but a mistaken view of reality, and is not what it appears to be, you are free of its obsessions. Only what is compatible with your real being can make you happy and the wGrld, as you perceive it, is its outright denial. Keep very quiet and watch what comes to the surface of the mind. Reject the known, welcome the so far unknown and reiect it in its turn. Thus you come to a state in which there is no know- ledge, only being, in which being itself is knowledge. To know by being is direct knowledge. It is based on the identity of the seer and the seen. Indirect knowledge is based on sensation and memory, on proximity ~f the perceiver and his percept, con- fined with the contrast between the two. The same with happi- ness. Usually you have to be sad to know gladness and glad to ,;now sadness. True happiness is uncaused and this cannot disappear for lack of stimulation. It is not the opposite of sorrow, it includes all sorrow and suffering.
Q: How can one remain happy among so much suffering?
M: One cannot help it--the inner happiness is overwhelmingly real. Like the sun in the sky, its expressions may be clouded, but it is never absent.
Q: When we are in trouble, we are bound to be unhappy.
M: Fear is the only trouble. Know yourself as independent and you will be free from fear a~d its shadows.
Q: What is the difference between happiness and pleasure?
M: Pleasure depends on things, happiness does not.
Q: If happiness is independent, why are we not always happy?
M: As long as we believe that we need things to make us happy, we shall also believe that in their absence we must be miserable. Mind always shapes itself according to its beliefs. Hence the importance of convincing oneself that one need not be prodded into happiness; that, on the contrary, pleasure is a l YOU ARE BEYOND SPACE AND TIME 487 distraction and a nuisance, for it merely increases the false con- viction that one needs to have and do things to be happy when in reality it is just the opposite. But why talk of happiness at all? You do not think of happi- ness except when you are unhappy. A man who says: 'Now I am happy', is between two sorrows--past and future. This happi- ness is mere excitement caused by relief from pain. Real happi- ness is utterly unselfconscious. It is best expressed negatively as: 'there is nothing wrong with me. I have nothing to worry about'. After all, the ultimate purpose of all sadhana is to reach a point, when this conviction, instead of being only verbal, is based on the actual and ever-present experience. Q; Which experience?
M: The experience of being empty, uncluttered by memories and expectations; it is like the happiness of open spaces, of being young, of having all the time and energy for doing things, for discovery, for adventure.
Q: What remains to discover?
M: The universe without and the immensity within as they are in reality, in the great mind and heart of God. The meaning and purpose of sxistence, the secret of suffering, life's redemption from ignorance.
Q: If being happy is the same as being free from fear and worry, cannot it be said that absence of trouble is the cause of happiness?
M: A state of absence, of non-existence cannot be a cause; the pre-existence of a cause is implied in the notion. Your natural state, in which nothing exists, cannot be a cause of becoming; the causes are hidden in the great and mysterious power of memory. But your true home is in nothingness, in emptiness of all content.
Q: Emptiness and nothingness--how dreadful !
M: You face it most cheerfully, when you go to sleep! Find out for yourself the state of wakeful sleep and you will find it quite in harmony with your real nature. Words can only give you the idea and the idea is not the experience. All I can say is that true hap- piness has no cause and what has no cause is immovable. 488 1 AM THAT Which does not mean It is perceivable, as pleasure. What is perceivab!e is pain and pleasure; the state of freedom from sor- row can be described only negatively. To know it directly you must go beyond the mind addicted to causality and the tyranny of time.
Q: If happiness is not conscious and consciousness--not happy, what is the link between the two?
M: Consciousness being a product of conditions and circums- tances, depends on them and changes along with them. What is independent, uncreated, timeless and changeless, and yet ever new and fresh, is beyond the mind. When the mind thinks of it, the mind dissolves and only happiness remains.
Q: When all goes, nothingness remains.
M: How can there be nothing without something? Nothing is only an idea, it depends on the memory of something. Pure being is quite independent of existence, which is definable and describable.
Q: Please tell us; beyond the mind does consciousness con- tinue, or does it end with the mind?
M: Consciousness comes and goes, awareness shines immu- tably.
Q: Who is aware in awareness?
M: When there is a person, there is also consciousness. 'I am' mind, conscio,usness denote the same state. If you say 'I am aware', it only means: 'I am conscious of thinking about being aware'. There is no 'I am' in awareness.
Q: What about witnessing?
M: Witnessing is of the mind. The witness goes with the witnes- sed. In the state of non-duality all separation ceases.
Q: What about you? Do you continue in awareness?
M: The person, the 'I am this body, this mind, this chain of memories, this bundle of desires and fears' disappears, but somethin~ you may call identity, remains. It enables me to be- come a person when required. Love creates its own neces- sities, even of becoming a person.
Q: It is said that Reality manifests itself as existence--con- YOU ARE BEYOND SPACE AND TIME 489 sciousness--bliss. Are they absolute or relative?
M: They are relative to each other and depend on each other. Reality is independent of its expressions.
Q: What is the relation between reality and its expressions?
M: No relation. In reality all is real and identical. As we put it, saguna and nirguna are one in Parabrahman. There is only the Supreme. In movement, it Is saguna. Motionless, it is nirguna. But it is only the mind that moves or does not move. The real is beyond, you are beyond. Once you have understood that no- thing perceivable, OF conceivable can be yourself, you are free of your imaginations. To see everything as imagination, born of desire, is necessary for self-realization. We miss the real by lack of attention and create the unreal by excess of imagination. You have to give your heart and mind to these things and brood over them repeatedly. It is like cooking food. You must keep it on the fire for some time before it is ready.
Q: Am I not under the sway of destiny, of my karma? What can I do against it? What I am and what I do is pre-determined. Even my so-called free choice is predetermined; only I am not aware of it and imagine myself to be free.
M: Again, it all depends how you look at it. Ignorance is like a fever--it makes you see things which are not there. ~
Questioner: I was here last year. Now I am again before you. What makes me come I really ~o not know, but somehow I can- not forget you.
Maharaj: Some forget, some do not~ according to their destinies, which you may call chance, if you prefer. a Between chance and destiny there is a basic difference.
M: Only in your mind. In fact, you do not know what causes what? Destiny is only a blanket word to cover up your ignor- ance. Chance is another word.
Q: Without knowledge of causes and their results can there be freedom'~
M: Causes and results are infinite in number and variety. Every- thing affects everything. In this universe, when one thing changes, everything changes. Hence the great power of man in changing the world by changing himself.
Q: According to your own words, you have, by the grace of your Guru, changed radically some forty years ago. Yet the world remains as it had been before.
M: My world has changed completely. Yours remains the same, for you have not changed.
Q: How is it that your change has not affected me?
M: Because there was no communion between us. Do not con- sider yourself as sepa~ate from me and we shall at once share in the common state.
Q: I have some property in the United States which I intend to sell and buy some land in the Himalayas. I shall build a house, lay out a garden, get two-three cows and live quietly. People tell ACCEPT LIFE AS IT COMES 491 me that property and quiet are not compatible, that I shall at once get into trouble with officials, neighbours and thieves. Is it inevitable?
M: The least you can expect is an endless succession of visi- tors who will make your abode into a free and open guest- house. Better accept your life as it shapes, go home and look after your wife with love and care. Nobody else needs you. Your dreams of glory will land you in more trouble.
Q: It is not glory that I seek. I seek Reality.
M: For this you need a well-ordered and quiet life, peace of mind and immense earnestness. At every moment whatever comes to you unasked, comes from God and will surely help you, if you make the fullest use of it. It is only what you strive for, out of your own imagination and desire, that gives you trouble. Q; Is destiny the same as grace?
M: Absolutely. Accept life as it comes and you will find it a bles- sing.
Q: I can accept my own life. How can I accept the sort of life others are compelled to live?
M: You are accepting it anyhow. The sorrows of others do not interfere with your pleasures. If you were really compassionate, you would have abandoned long ago all self-concem and en- tered the state from which alone you can really help.
Q: If I have a big house and enough land, I may create an As- hram, with individual rooms; common meditation hall, canteen, library, office etc.
M: Ashrams are not made, they happen. You cannot start nol prevent them, as you cannot start or stop a river. Too many fac- tors are involved in the creation of a successful Ashram and your inner maturity is only one of them. Of course, if you are ig- norant of your real being, whatever you do must turn to ashes. You cannot imitate a Guru and get away with it. All hypocrisy will end in disas~er.
Q: What is the harm in behaving like a saint even before being one? .
M: Rehearsing saintliness is a sadhana. It is perfectly allright. provided no merit is claimed. 492 1 AM THAT
Q: How can I know whether I am able to start an Ashram unless I try?
M: As long as you take yourself to be a person, a body and a mind, separate from the stream of life, having a will of its own pursuing its own aims, you are living merely on the surface and whatever you do will be short-lived and of little value, mere straw to feed the flames of vanity. You must put in true worth before you can expect somethir,g real. What is your worth?
Q: By what measure shall I measure it?
M: Look at the content of your mind. You are what you think about. Are you not most of the time busy with your own little per- son and its daily needs? The value of regular meditation is that it takes you away from the humdrum of daily routine and reminds you that you are not what you believe yourself to be. But even remembering is not enough--action must follgw conviction. Don't be like the rich man who has ma~e a detailed will, but refuses to die.
Q: Is not gradualness the law of life?
M: Oh, no. The preparation alone is gradual, the change itself is sudden and complete. Gradual change does not take you to a new level of conscious being. You need courage to let go.
Q: I admit it is courage that I lack.
M: It is because you are not fully convinced. Complete convic- tion generates both desire and courage. And meditation is the art of achieving faith through understanding. In meditation you consider the teaching received, in all its aspects and re- peatedly, until out of clarity confidence is born and, with confi- dence, action. Conviction and action are inseparable. If action does not follow conviction, examine your convictions, don't ac- cuse yourself of lack of courage. Self-depreciation will take you nowhere. Without clarity and emotional assent of what use is will~
Q: What do you mean by emotional assent? Am I not to act against my desires?
M: You will not act against your desires. Clarity is not enou~h. Energy comes from love--you must love to act--whatever the shape and object of your love. Without clarity and charitY cour- ACCEPT LIFE AS IT COMES 493 age is destructive. People at war are often wonderfully courageous, but what of it?
Q: I see quite clearly that all I want is a house in a garden where I shall live in peace. Why should I not act on my desire?
M: By all means, act. But do not forget the inevitable, unex- pected. Without rain your garden will not flourish. You need courage for adventure.
Q: I need time to collect my courage, don't hustle me. Let me ripen for action.
M: The entire approach is wrong. Action delayed is action abandoned. There may be other chances for other actions, but the present moment is lost--irretrievably lost. All preparation is for the future--you cannot prepare for the present.
Q: What is wrong with preparing for the future?
M: Acting in the now is not much helped by your preparations. Clarity is now, action is now. Thinking of being ready impedes action. And action is the touchstone of reality.
Q: Even when we act without convic.tion?
M: You cannot live without action, and behind each action there is some fear or desire. Ultimately, all you do is based on your conviction that the world is real and independent of yourself. Were you convinced of the contrary, your behaviour would have been ~uite different.
Q: There is nothing wrong with my convictions; my actions are shaped by circumstances.
M: In other words, you are convinced of the reality of your cir- cumstances, of the world in which you live. Trace the world to its source and you will find that before the world was, you were and when the world is no longer, you remain. Find your timeless being and your action will bear it testimony. Did you find it?
Q: No, I did not.
M: Then what else have you to do? Surely, this is the most urgent task. You cannot see yourself as independent of every- thing unless you drop everything and remain unsupported and undefined. Once you know yourself, it is immaterial what you do, but to realize your independence, you must test it by letting go 494 1 AM THAT all you were dependent on. The realized man lives on the level of the absolutes; his wisdom, love and courage are complete, there is nothing relative about him. Therefore he must prove himself by tests more stringent, undergo trials more demanding. The tester, the tested and the set up for testing are all within; it is an inner drama to which none can be a party.
Q: Crucifixion, death and resurrection--we are on familiar grounds! I have read, heard and talked about it endlessly, but to do it I find myself incapable.
M: Keep quiet, undisturbed, and the wisdom and the power will come on their own. You need not hanker. Wait in silence of the heart and mind. It is very easy to be quiet, but willingness is rare. You people want to become supermen overnight. Stay without ambition, without the least desire, exposed, vulnerable, unprotected, uncertain and alone, completely open to and wel- coming life as it happens,.without the selfish conviction that all must yield you pleasure or profit, material or so-called spiritual.
Q: I respond to what you say, but I just do not see how it is done.
M: If you know how to do it, you will not do it. Abandon every at- tempt, just be; don't strive, don't struggle, let go every support, hold on to the blind sense of being, brushing off all else. This is enough .
Q: How is this brushing done? The more I brush off, the more it comes to the surface.
M: Refuse attention, let things come and go. Desires and thoughts are also things. Disregard them. Since immemorial time the dust of events was covering the clear mirror of your mind, so that only memories you could see. Brush off the dust before it has time to settle; this will lay bare the old layers until the true nature of your mind is discovered. It is all very simple and comparatively easy; be earnest and patient, that is all. Dis- passion, detachment, freedom from desire and fear, from all self-concern, mere awareness--free from memory and expec- tation--this is the state of mind to which discovery can happen. After all, liberation is but the freedom to discover. ... Abandon Memories and Expectations 96 Questloner: I am an American by birth and for the last one year I was staying in an Ashram in Madhya Pradesh, studying Yoga in its many aspects. We had a teacher, whose Guru, a disciple of the great Sivananda Saraswati, stays in Monghyr. I stayed at Ramanashram also. While in Bombay I went through an inten- sive course of Burmese meditation managed by one Goenka. Yet I have not found peace. There is an improvement in self- control and day-to-day discipline, but that is all. I cannot say exactly what caused what. I visited many holy places. How each acted on me, I cannot say.
Maharaj: Good results will come, sooner or later. At Sri Ramanashram did you get some instructions?
Q: Yes, some English people were teaching me and also an In- dian follower of gnana yoga, residing there permanently, was giving me lessons.
M: What are your plans?
Q: I have to return to the States because of visa difficulties. I in- tend to complete my B.Sc., study Nature Cure and make it my profession .
M: A good profession, no doubt.
Q: Is there any danger in pursuing the path of Yoga at all cost?
M: Is a match-stick dangerous when the house is on fire? The search for reality is the most dangerous of all undertakings for it will destroy the world in which you live. But if your motive is love of truth and life, you need not be afraid.
Q: I am afraid of my own mind. It is so unsteady! 496 I AM THAT
M: In the mirror of your mind images appear and disappear. The mirror remains. Learn to distinguish the immovable in the movable, the unchanging in the changing, till you realize that all differences are in appearance only and oneness is a fact. This basic identity--you may call God, or Brahman, or the matrix (Prakriti), the words matters little--is only the realization that all is one. Once you can say with confidence born from direct ex- perience: 'I am the world, the world is myself', you-are free from desire and fear on one hand and become totally responsible for the world on the other. The senseless sorrow of mankind be- comes your sole concern.
Q: So even a gnani has his problems !
M: Yes, but they are no longer of his own creation. His suffering is not poisoned by a sense of guilt. There is nothing wrong with suffering for the sins of others. Your Christianity is based on this.
Q: Is not all suffering self-created?
M: Yes, as long as there is a separate self to create it. In the end you know that there is no sin, no guilt, no retribution, only life in its endless transformations. With the dissolution of the per- sonal 'I' personal suffering disappears. What remains is the great sadness of compassion, the horror of the unnecessary pain.
Q: ,Is there anything unnecessary in the scheme of things?
M: Nothing is necessary, nothing is inevitable. Habit and pas- sion blind and mislead. Compassionate awareness heals and redeems. There is nothing we can do, we can only let things happen according to their nature.
Q: Dc you advocate complete passivity?
M: Clarity and charity is action. Love is not lazy and clarity di- rects. You need not worry about action, look after your mind and heart. Stupidity and selfishness are the only evil.
Q: What is better--repetition of God's name, or meditation?
M: Repetition will stabilize your breath. With deep and quiet breathing vitality will improve, which will influence the brain and help the mind to grow pure and stable and fit for meditation. Without vitality little can be done, hence the importance of its protection and increase. Posture and breathing are a part of ABANDON MEMORIES AND EXPECTATIONS 497 Yoga, for the body must be healthy and well under control, but too rnuch concentration on the body defeats its own purpose, for it is the mind that is primary in the beginning. When the mind has been put to rest and disturbs no longer the inner space (chidakash), the body acquires a new meaning and its trans- formation becomes both necessary and possible.
Q: I have been wandering all over India, meeting many Gurus and learning in driblets several Yogas. Is it all right to have a taste of everything?
M: No, this is but an introduction. You will meet a man who will help you find your own way.
Q: I feel that the Guru ot my own choice can not ~e my real Guru. To be real he must come unexpected and be irresistible.
M: Not to anticipate is best. The way ycu respond is decisive.
Q: Am I the master of my responses?
M: Discrimination and dispassion practised now will yield their fruits at the proper time. If the roots are healthy and well- watered, the fruits are sure to be sweet. Be pure, be alert, keep ready.
Q: Are austerities and penances of any use?
M: To meet all the vicissitudes of life is penance enough! You need not invent trouble. To meet cheerfully whatever life brings is all the austerity you need.
Q: What about sacrifice?
M: Share willingly and gladly all you have with whoever needs --don't invent self-inflicted cruelties.
Q: What is self-surrender?
M: Accept what comes.
Q: I feel I am too weak to stand on my own legs. I need the holy company of a Guru and of good people. Equanimity is beyond me. To accept what comes as it comes, frightens me. I think of my returning to the States with horror.
M: Go back and make the best use of your opportunities. Get your B.Sc. degree first. You can always return to India for your Nature Cure studies. 498 1 AM THAT
Q: I am quite aware of the opportunities in the States. It is the loneliness that frightens me.
M: You have always the company of your own self--you need not feel alone. Estranged from it even in India you will feel lonely. All happiness comes from pleasing the self. Please it, after re- turn to the States, do nothing that may be unworthy of the glori- ous reality within your heart and you shall be happy and remain happy. But you must seek the self and, having found it, stay with it.
Q: Will compete solitude be of any benefit?
M: It depends on your temperament. You may work with others and for others, alert and friendly, and grow more fully than in soli- tude, which may make you dull or leave you at the mercy of your mind's endless chatter. Do not imagine that you can change through effort. Violence, even turned against yourself, as in austerities and penance, will remain fruitless.
Q: Is there no way of making out who is realized and who is not?
M: Your only proof is in yourself. If you find that you turn to gold, it will be a sign that you have touched the philosopher's stone. Stay with the person and watch what happens to you. Don't ask others. Their man may not be your Guru. A Guru may be univer- sal in his essence, but not in his expressions. He may appear to be angry or greedy or over-anxious about his Ashram or his fam- ily, and you may be misled by appearances, while others are not.
Q: Have I not the right to expect all-round perfection, both inner and outer?
M: Inner ---yes. But outer perfection depends on circums- tances, on the state of the body, personal and social, and other innumerable factors.
Q: I was told to find a gnani so that I may learn from him the art of achieving gnana and now I am told that the entire approach is false, that I cannot make out a gnani, nor can gnana be con- quered by appropriate means. It is all so confusing!
M: It is all due to your complete misunderstanding of reali~. Your mind is steeped in the habits of evaluation and acquisition ABANWN MEMORIES AND EXPECTATIONS 499 and will not admit that the incomparable and unobtainable are waiting timelessly within your own heart for recognition. All you have to do is to abandon all memories and expectations. Just keep yourself ready in utter nakedness and nothingness.
Q: Who is to do the abandoning?
M: God will do it. Just see the need of being abandoned. Don't resist, don't hold on to the person you take yourself to be. Be- cause you imagine yourself to be a person you take the gnani to be a person too, only somewhat different, better informed and more powerful. You may say that he is eternally conscious and happy, but it is far from expressing the whole truth. Don't trust definitions and descriptions--they are grossly misleading.
Q: Unless I am told what to do and how to do it, I feel lost.
M: By all means do feel lost! As long as you feel competent and confident, reality is beyond your reach. Unless you accept inner adventure as a way of life, discovery will not come to you.
Q: Discovery of what?
M: Of the centre of your being, which is free of all directions, all means and ends.
Q: Be all, know all, have all?
M: Be nothing, know nothing, have nothing. This is the only life worth living, the only happiness worth having.
Q: I may admit that the goal is beyond my comprehension. Let me know the way at least.
M: You must find your own way. Unless you find it yourself it will not be your own way and will take you nowhere. Earnestly live your truth as you have found it--act on the little you have un- derstood. It is earnestness that will take you through, not clever- ness--your own or another's.
Q: I am afraid of mistakes. So many things I tried--nothing came out of them.
M: You gave too little of yourself, you were merely curious, not earnest.
Q: I don't know any better.
M: At least that much you know. Knowing them to be superfi- cial, give no vall)e to your experiences, forget them as soon as 500 1 AM THAT they are over. Live a clean, selfless life, that is all.
M: Action does not lead to perfection; perfection is expressed in action. As long as you judge yourself by your expressions give them utmost attention; when you realize your own being 420 1 AM THAT your behavior will be perfect--spontaneously. Q If I am timelessly perfect, then why was I born at all? What is the purpose of this life?
M: It is like asking: what does it profit gold to be made into an ornament? The ornament gets the color and the beauty of -gold; gold is not enriched. Similarly, reality expressed in action makes the action meaningful and beautiful.
Q: What does the real gain through its expressions?
M: What can it gain? Nothing whatsoever. But it is in the nature of love to express itself, to affirm itself, to overcome difficulties. Once you have understood that the world is love-in action, you will look at it quite differently. But first your attitude to suffering must change. Suffering is primarily a call for attention, which it- self is a movement of love. More than happiness, love wants growth, the widening and deepening of consciousness and being. Whatever prevents becomes a cause of pair, and love does not shirk from pain. Sattva, the energy that works for right- eousness and orderly development, must not be thwarted. When obstructed it turns against itself and becomes destruc- tive. Whenever love is withheld and suffering allowed to spread, war becomes inevitable. Our indifference to our nabbers sorrow brings suffering to our door. รน-- The True Guru 83
Questioner: You were saying the other day that at the root of your realization was the trust in your Guru. He assured you that you were already the Absolute Reality and there was nothing more to be done. You trusted him and left it at that, without straining, without striving. Now, my question is: without trust in your Guru would you have realized? After all, what you are, You are, whether your mind trusts or not; would doubt obstruct the action of the Guru's words and make them inoperative? Maharaja: You have said it--they would have been made in- operative--for a time.
Q: And what would happen to the energy, or power in the Guru's words?
M: It would remain latent, unmanifested. But the entire question is based on a misunderstanding. The master, the disciple, the love and trust between them, these are one fact, not so many independent facts. Each is a part of the other. Without love and trust there would have been no Guru nor disciple, and no rela- tionship between them. It is like pressing a switch to light an electric lamp. It is because the lamp, the wiring, the switch, the transformer, the transmission lines and the power house form a single whole, that you get the light. Any one factor missing and there would be no light. You must not separate the inseparable. Words do not create facts; they either describe them or distort. The fact is always non-verbal.
Q: I still do not understand; can the Guru's word remain unfulfil- led or will it invariably prove true? .
M: Words of a realized man never miss their purpose. They wait for the right conditions to arise which may take some time, and. 4~ 1 AM THAT this is natural, for there is a season for sowing and a season for harvesting. But the word of a Guru is a seed that cannot perish. Of course, I he Guru must be a real one, who is beyond the body and the mind, beyond consciousness itself, beyond space and time, beyond duality and unity, beyond understanding and de- scription. The good people! who have read a lot and have a lot to say, may teach you many useful things, but they are not the real Gurus whose words invariably.y come true. They also may ten you that you are the ultimate reality itself, but what of-it? 0: Nevertheless, if for some reason I happen to trust them and obey, shall I be the loser?
M: If you are able to trust and obey, you will soon find your real Guru, or, rather, he will find you.
Q: Does every knower of title Self become a Guru, or can one be a knower of Reality without being able to take others to it? M. If you know what you teach, you can teach what you Knox, Here seer ship and teacher ship are one. But the Absolute Rea ivy is beyond both. The self-styled Gurus talk of ripeness and ef fort, of merits and achievements, of destiny and grace; all Thea - are mere mental formations, projections of an addicted mint Instead of helping, they obstruct.
Q: How can I make out whom to follow and whom to mistrust?
M: Mistrust all, until you are convinced. The true Guru will never humiliate you, nor will he estrange you from yourself. He we; constantly bring you back to the fact of your inherent perfecho and encourage you to seek within. He knows you need nothing not even him, and IS never tired of reminding you. But the self- appointed Guru is more concerned with himself than with h disciples.
Q: You said that reality is beyond the knowledge and the teach in of the real. Is not the knowledge of reality the supreme itself and teaching the proof of its attainment?
M: The knowledge of the real, or the self, is a state of mind. Teaching another is a movement in duality. They concern the mind only; sattva is a Guna all the same.
Q: What is real then?
M: He who knows the mind as non-realized and realized, who THE TRUE GURI J 4~.~ knows ignorance and knowledge as states of mind, he is the real. When you are given diamonds mixed with gravel, you may either miss the diamonds or find them. It is the seeing that mat- ters. Where is the grayness of the gravel and the beauty of the diamond, without the power to see? The known is but a shape and knowledge is but a name. The knower is but a state of mind. The real is beyond.
Q: Surely, objective knowledge and ideas of things and self- knowledge are not one and the same thing. One needs a brain, the other does not.
M: For the purpose of discussion you can arrange words and give them meaning, but the fact remains that all knowledge is a form of ignorance. The most accurate map is yet only paper. All knowledge is in memory; it is only recognition, while reality is beyond the duality of the knower and the known.
Q: Then by what is reality known?
M: How misleading is your language! You assume, uncon- sciously, that reality also is approachable through knowledge. And then you will bring in a knower of reality beyond reality! Do understand that to be, reality need not be known. Ignorance and knowledge are in the mind, not in the real.
Q: If there is no such thing as the knowledge of the real, then how do I reach it?
M: You need not reach out for what is already with you. Your very reaching out makes you miss it. Give up the idea that you have not found it and just let it- come into the focus of direct per- ception, here and now, by removing all that is of the mind.
Q: When all that can go, goes, what remains?
M: Emptiness remains, awareness remains, pure light of the conscious being remains. It is like asking what remains of a room when all the furniture is removed? A most serviceable room remains. And when even the walls are pulled down, space remains Beyond space and time is the here and the now of real- ity.
Q: Does the witness remain?
M: As long as there is consciousness, its witness is also there. The two appear and disappear together.. 424 1 AM THAT
Q: If the witness too is transient, why is he given so much im- portance?
M: Just to break the spell of the known, the illusion that only the perceivable is real.
Q: Perception is primary, the witness--secondary.
M: This is the heart of the matter. As long as you believe that only the outer world is real, you remain its slave. To become free, your attention must be drawn to the 'I am', the witness. Of course, the knower and the known are one not two, but to break the spell of the known the knower must be brought to the fore- front. Neither is primary, both are reflections in memory of the ineffable experience, ever new and ever now, untranslatable, quicker than the mind. a Sir, J am . n humble seeker, wandering from Guru to Guru in search of release. My mind is sick, burning with desire, frozen with fear. My days flit by, red with pain,~grey with boredom. My age is advancing, my health decaying, my future dark and frigh- tening. At this rate I shall live in sorrow and die in despair. Is there any hope for me? O,r have I come too late?
M: Nothing is wrong with you, but the ideas you have of yourself are altogether wrong. It is not you who desires, fears and suf- fers, it is the person built on the foundation of your body by cir- cumstances and influences. You are not that person. This rust be clearly established in your mind and never lost sight of. Nor- mally, it needs a prolonged sadhana, years of austerities and meditation.
Q: My mind is weak and vaccinating. I have neither the strength nor the tenacity for sadhana. My case, is hopeless.
M: In a way yours is a most hopeful case. There is an alternative to sadhana, which is trust. If you cannot have the conviction born from fruitful search, then take advantage of my discovery, which I am so eager to share with you. I can see with the utmost clarity that you have never been, nor are, nor will be estranged from realty, that you are the fullness of perfection here and now and that nothing can deprive you of your heritage, of what you are. You are in no way different from me, only you do not know it. You do not know what you are and therefore you imagine your- THE TRUE GURU 425 self to be what you are not. Hence desires and fear and over- whelming despair. And meaningless activity in order to escape. Just trust me and live by trusting me. I shall not mislead you. You are the Supreme Reality beyond the world and its creator, beyond consciousness and its witness, beyond all assertions and denials. Remember it, think of it, act on it. Abandon all sense of separation, see yourself in all and act accordingly. With action bliss will come and, with bliss, conviction. After all, you doubt yourself because you are in sorrow. Happiness, natural, spontaneous and lasting cannot be imagined. Either it is there, or it is not. Once you begin Jo experience the peace, love and happiness which need no outer causes, all your doubts will dissolve. Just catch hold of what I told you and live bv it.
Q: You are telling me to live by memory?
M: You are living by memory anyhow. I am merely asking you to replace the old memories by the memory of what I told you. As you were acting on your old memories, act on the new one. Don't be afraid. For some time there is bound to be a conflict be- tween the old and the new, but if you put yourself resolutely on the side of the new, the strife will soon come to an end and you will realize the effortless state of being oneself, of not being ~e- celved by desires and fears born of illusion.
Q: Many Gurus have the habit of giving tokens of their grace-- their head cloth, or their sticks, or begging bowl, or robe, thus transmitting or confirming the self-realization of their disciples. I can see no value in such practices. It is not self-realization that is transmitted, but self-importance. Of what earthly use is being told something very flattering, but not true? On one hand you are warning me against the many self-styled Gurus, on the other you want me to trust you. Why do you claimto be an exception?
M: I do not ask you to trust me. Trust my words and remember them, I want your happiness, not mine. Distrust those who put a distance between you and your true being and offer themselves as a go-between. I do nothing of the kind. I do not even make any promises. I merely say: if you trust my words and put them to test, you will for yourself discover how absolutely true I hey are. If you ask for a proof before you venture, I can only say: I 426 1 AM THAT am the proof. I did trust my teacher's words and kept them in my mind and I did find that he was right, that I was, am and shall be the Infinite Reality, embracing all, transcending all. As you say, you have neither the time nor the energy for lengthy practices. I offer you an alternative. Accept my words on trust and I've anew, or live and die in sorrow.
Q: It seems too good to be true.
M: Don't be misled by the simplicity of the advice. '\very few are those who have the courage to trust the innocent and the sim- ple. To know that you are a prisoner of your mind, that you live in an imaginary world of your own creation is the dawn of wisdom. To want nothing of it, to be ready to abandon it entirely, is ear- nestness. Only such earnestness, born of true despair, will make you trust me.
Q: Have l not suffered enough?
M: Suffering has made you dull, unable to see its enormity. Your first task is to see the sorrow in you and around you; your next to long intensely for liberation. The very intensity of longing will guide you; you need no other guide.
Q: Suffering has made me dull, indifferent even to itself.
M: Maybe it is not sorrow but pleasure that made you dull. In- vestigate.
Q: Whatever may be the cause; I am dull. I have neither the will nor the energy.
M: Oh, no. You have enough for the first step. And each step will generate enough energy for the next. Energy comes with confidence and confidence comes with experience.
Q: Is it right to change Gurus?
M: Why not change? Gurus are like milestones? It is natural to move on from one to another. Each tells you the direction and the distance, while the sad guru, the eternal Guru, is the road it- self. Once you realize that the road is the goal and that you are always on the road, not to reach a goal, but to enjoy its beauty and its wisdom, life ceases to be a task and becomes natural and simple, in itself an ecstasy.
Q: So, there is no need to worship, to pray, to practice Yoga? THE TRUE GURU 427 I aught ox Dansly sweep!ng, washing and bathing can do no harm. Self-awareness tells you at every step what needs be done. When all is done, the mind remains quiet. Now you are in the waking state, a person with name and shape, joys and sorrows. The person was not there before you were born, nor will be there after you die. Instead of struggling with the person to make it become what it is not, why not go beyond the waking state and leave the personal life altogether? It does not mean the extinction of the person; it means only se- eing it in right perspective.
Q: One more question. You said that before I was born I was one with the pure being of reality; if so, who decided that I should be born?
M: In reality you were never born and never shall die. But now you imagine that you are, or have a body and you ask what has brought about this state. Within the limits of illusion the answer is: desire born from memory attracts you to a body and makes you think as one with it. But this is true only from the relative point of view. In fact, there is no body, nor a world to contain it; there is only a mental condition, a dream-like state, easy to dis- pel by questioning its reality.
Q: After you die, will you come again? If I live long enough, will I meet you again.
M: To you the body is real, to me there is none. 1, as you see me, exist in your imagination only. Surely, you will see me again, if and when you need me. It does not affect me, as the Sun is not affected by sunrises and sunsets. Because it is not affected, it is certain to be there when needed. You are bent on knowledge, I am not. I do not have that sense of insecurity that makes you crave to know. I am curious, like a child is curious. But there is no anxiety to make me seek refuge in knowledge. Therefore, 1 am not concerned whether I shall be reborn, or how long will the world last. These are questions born of fear. Your Goal is Your Guru 84
Questioner: You were telling us that there are many self-styled Gurus, but a real Guru is very rare. There are many nannies who imagine themselves realized, but all they have is book know- ledge and a high opinion of themselves. Sometimes they im- press, even fascinate, attract disciples and make them waste their time in useless practices. After some years, when the dis- ciple takes stock of himself, he finds no change. When Fe com- plains to his teacher, he gets the usual rebuke that he dip not try hard enough. The blame is on the lack of faith and love in the heart of the disciple, while in reality the blame is on the Guru, who had no business in accepting disciples and raising their hopes. How to protect oneself from such Gurus? Maharaja: Why be so concerned with others? Whoever may be the Guru, if he is pure of heart and acts in good faith, he will do his disciples no harm. If there is no progress, the fault lies with the disciples, their laziness and lack of self-control. On the other hand, if the disciple is earnest and applies himself intelligently and with zest to his sadhana, he is bound to meet a more qual- ified teacher, who will take him further. Your question flows from three false assumptions: that one needs concern oneself with others; that one can evaluate another and that the progress of the disciple is the task and responsibility of his Guru. In reality, the Guru's role is only to instruct and encourage; the disciple is totally responsible for himself.
Q: We are told that total surrender to the Guru is enough, that the Guru will do the rest.
M: Of course, when there is total surrender, complete relin- quishment of all concern with one's past, presents and future, with one's physical and spiritual security and start ding, a new Yt~lJR GOAL IS YOUR GURU 429 life dawns, full of love and beauty; then the Guru is not impor- tant, for the disciple has broken the shell of self-defence. Com- plete self-surrender by itself is liberation.
Q: When both the disciple and his teacher are inadequate, what will happen?
M: In the long run al~will be well. After all, the real Self of both is not affected by the comedy they play for a time. They will sober up and ripen and shift to a higher level of relationship. a Or, they may separate.
M: Yes, they may separate. After all, no relationship is forever. Duality is a temporary state.
Q: Is it by accident that I met you and by another accident shall we separate never to meet again? Or is my meeting you a part of some cosmic pattern, a fragment in the great drama of our lives?
M: the real is meaningful and the meaningful relates to reality. If our relationship is meaningful to you and me, it cannot be ac- cidental. The future affects the present as much, as the past.
Q: How can I make out who is a real saint and who is not?
M: You cannot, unless you have a clear insight into the heart of man. Appearances are deceptive. To see clearly, your mind must be pure and unattached. Unless you know yourself well, how can you know another? And when you know yourself--you are the other. Leave others alone for so~ne time and examine yourself. There are so many things you do not know about yourself what are you, who are you, how did you come to be born, what are you doing now and why, where are you going, what is the meaning and purpose of yourlife, your death, your future? Have you a past, have you a future? How did you come to live in tur- moil and sorrow, while your entire being strives for happiness and peace? These are weighty matters and have to be attended to first. You have no need, nor time for finding who is a nanny and who is not?
Q: ! must select my guru rightly.
M: Be the right man and the right Guru will surely find you.. 380 1 AM THAT light, the picture and the screen. Even the film of destiny (prarabdha) is self-selected and self-imposed. The spirit is a sport and enjoys to overcome obstacles. The harder the task the deeper and wider his self-realization. ~ Man is not the Doer 93
Questioner: From the beginning of my life I am pursued by a sense of incompleteness. From school to college, to work, to marriage, to affluence, I imagined that the next thir,g will surely give me peace, but there was no peace. This sense of unfulfil- ment keeps on growing as years pass by.
Maharaj: As long as there is the body and the sense of identity with the body, frustration is inevitable. Only when you know yourself as entirely alien to and different from the body, will you find respite from the mixture of fear and craving inseparable from 'I-am-the-body' idea. Merely assuaglng fears and satisfy- ing desires will not remove this sense of emptiness you are try- ing to escape from; only self-knowledge can help you. By self- knowledge I mean full knowledge of what you are not. Such knowledge is attainable and final; but to the discovery of what you are there can be no end. The more you discover, the more there remains to discover.
Q: For this we must have different parents and schools, live in a different society.
M: YOL; cannot change your circumstances, but your attitudes MAN IS NOT THE DOER 481 you can change. You need not be attached to the non- essentials. Only the necessary is good. There is peace only in the essential.
Q: It is truth I seek, not peace.
M: You cannot see the true unless you are at peace. A quiet mind is essential for right perception, which again is required for self-realization .
Q: I have so much to do. I just cannot afford to keep my mind quiet.
M: It is because of your illusion that you are the doer. In reality things are done to you, not by you.
Q: If I just let things happen, how can I be sure that they will happen my way? Surely I must bend them to my desire.
M: Your desire just happens to you along with its fulfilment, or non-fulfilment. You can change neither. You may believe that you exert yourself, strive and struggle. Again, it all merely hap- pens, including the fruits of the work. Nothing is by you and for you. All is in the picture exposed on the cinema screen, nothing in the light, including what you take yourself to be, the person. You are the li~ht only.
Q: If I am light on~y, how did I come to forget it?
M: You have not forgotten. It is in the picture on the screen that you forget and then rernember. You never cease to be a man because you dream to be a tiger. Similarly you are pure light appearing as a picture on the screen and also becoming one with it.
Q: Since all happens, why should I worry?
M: Exactly. Freednm is freedom from worry. Having realized that you cannot influence the results, pay no attention to your desires and fears. Let them come and go. Don't give them the nourishment of interest and at~ention.
Q: If I turn my attention from what happens, what am I to live by?
M: Again it is like asking: 'What shall I do, if I stop dreaming?' Stop and see. You need not be anxious: 'What next?' There is always the next. Life does not begin nor,end: immovable--it 482 1 AM THAT MAN lS NoT THF DoFR ~IAA moves, momentary--it lasts. Light can not be exhausted even if innumerable pictures are projected by it. So does life fill every shape to the brim and return to its source, when the shape breaks down.
Q: If life is so wonderful, how could ignorance happen?
M: You want to treat the disease without having seen the pa- tient! Before you ask about ignorance, why don't you enquire first, who is the ignorant? When you say you are ignorant, you do not know that you have imposed the concept of ignorance over the actual state of your thoughts and feelings. Examine ;hem as they occur, give them your full attention and you will tind that there is nothing like ignorance, only inattention. Give attention to what worries you, that is all. After all, worry is mental pain and pain is invariably a call for attention. The moment you give atten- tion, the call for it ceases and the question of ignorance dissol- ves. Instead of waiting.for an answer to your question, find out who is asking the question and what makes him ask it. You will soon find that it is the mind, goaded by fear of pain, that asks the question. And in fear there is memory and anticipation, past and future. Attention brings you back to the present, the now, and the presence in the now is a state ever at hand, but rarely noticed.
Q: You are reducing sadhana to simple attention. How is it that other teachers teach complete, difficult and time-consuming courses?
M: The Gurus usually teach the sadhanas by which they them- selves have reached their goal, whatever their goal may be. This is but natural, for their own sadhana they know intimately. I was taught to give attention to my sense of 'I am and I found it supremely effective. Therefore, I can speak of it with full confi- dence. But often people come with their bodies, brain and minds so mishandled, perverted and weak, that the state of formless attention is beyond them. In such cases, some simpler token of earnestness is appropriate. The repetition of a mantra, or gazing at a picture will prepare their body and mind for a deeper and more direct search. After all, it is earnestness that is indispensable, the crucial factor. Sadhana is only a vessel and it must be filled to the brim with earnestness, which is but love in action. For nothing can be done without love.
Q: We love only ourselves.
M: Were it so, it would be splendid! Love your self wisely and you will reach the summit of perfection. Everybody loves his body, but few love their real being.
Q: Does my real being need my love?
M: Your real being is love itself and your many loves are its re- flections according tc the situation at the moment.
Q: We are selfish, we know only self-love.
M: Good enough for a start. By all means wish yourself well. Think over, feel out deeply what is really good for you and strive for it earnestly. Very soon you will find that the real is your only good.
Q: Yet I do not understand why the various Gurus insist on pre- scribing complicated and difficult sadhanas. Don't they know better?
M: It is not what you do, but what you stop doing that matters. The people who begin their sadhana are so feverish and rest- less, that they have to be very busy to keep themselves on the track An absorbing routine is good for them. After some time they quieten down and turn away from effort. In peace and sil- ence the skin of the 'I' dissolves and the inner and the outer be- come one. The real sadhana is effortless.
Q: I have sometimes the feeling that space itself is my body.
M: When you are-bound by the illusion: 'I am this body', you are merely a point in space and a moment in time. When the self- identification with the body is no more, all space and time are in your mind, which is a mere ripple in cons,ciousness, which is awareness r'eflected in nature. Awareness and matter are the active and the passive aspects of pure being, which is in both and beyond both. Space and time are the body and the mind of the universal existence. My feeling is that all that happens in space and time happens to me, that every experience is my ex- perience every form is my form. What I take myself to be, be- comes my body and all that happens to that body becomes my mind. But at the root of the universe there is pure awareness, beyond space and time, here and now. Know it to be your r ~ 4S4 1 AM THAT ~eing an~ act accordingly. ~: What difference will it make in action what I take myself to be. Actions just happen according to circumstances.
M: Circumstances and conditions rule the ignorant. The knower of reality is not compelled. The only law he obeys is that of love. You are Beyond Space and Time 94
Questioner: You keep on saying that I was never born and will never die. If so, how is it that I see the world as one which has been born and will surely die?
Maharaj: You believe so because you have never questioned your belief that you are the body which, obviously, is born and dies. While alive, it attracts attention and fascinates so com- pletely that rarely does one perceive one's real nature. It is like seeing the surface of the ocean and comp~etely forgetting the immensity beneath. The world is but the surface of the mind and the mind is infinite. What we call thoughts are just ripples in the mind. When the mind is quiet it reflects reality. When it is motion- less through and through, it dissolves and only reality remains. This reality is so concrete, so actual, so much more tangible than mind and matter, that co,-npared to it even diamond is soft like butter. This overwhelming actuality makes the world dream- like, misty, irrelevant. YOU ARE BEYOND SPACE AND TIME 485
Q: This world, with so much suffering in it, how can you see it as irrelevant. What callousness!
M: It is you who is callous, not me. If your world is so full of suf- fering, do something about it; don't add to it through greed or indolence. I am not bound by your dreamlike world. In my world the seeds of suffering, desire and fear are not sown and suffer- ing does not grow. My world is free from opposites, of mutally destnictive discrepancies; harmony. pervades; its peace is rocklike; this peace and silence are my body.
Q: What you say reminds me of the dharmakaya OT Ine ~uaana.
M: May be. We need not run off with terminology. Just see the person you imagine yourself to be as a part of the world you perceive within your mind and look at the mind from the outside, for you are not the mind. After all, your only problem is the eager self-identification with whatever you perceive. Give up this habit, remember that you are not what you perceive, use your power of alert aloofness. See yourself in all that lives and yoyr behaviour will express your vision. Once you realize that there is nothing in this world, which you can call your own, you look at it from the outside as you look at a play on the stage, or a picture on the screen, admiring and enjoying, but really unmoved. As long as you imagine yourself to be something tangible and soli.d, a thing among things, actually existing in time and space, shortlived and vulnerable, naturally you will be anxious to sur- vive and increase. But when you know yourself as beyond space and time--in contact with them only at the point of here and now, otherwise all-pervading and all-containing, unap- proachable, unassailable, invulnerable--you will be afraid no longer. Know yourself as you are--against fear there is no other remedy. You have to learn to think and feel on these lines, or you will remain indefinitely on the personal level of desire and fear, gain- ing and losing, growing and decaying. A personal problem cannot be solved on its own level. The ve!y desire to live is the. messenger of death, as the longing to be happy is the outline of sorrow. The world is an ocean of pain and fear, of anxiety and despair. Pleasures are like the fishes, few and swift, rarely come, quickly gone. A man of low intelligence believes, against 486 1 AM THAT all evidence, that he is an exception and that the world owes him happiness. But the world cannot give what it does not have unreal to the core, it is of no use for real happiness. It cannot be otherwise. We seek the real because we are unhappy with the unreal. Happiness is our real nature and we shall never rest until we find it. But rarely we know where to seek it. Once you have understood that the world is but a mistaken view of reality, and is not what it appears to be, you are free of its obsessions. Only what is compatible with your real being can make you happy and the wGrld, as you perceive it, is its outright denial. Keep very quiet and watch what comes to the surface of the mind. Reject the known, welcome the so far unknown and reiect it in its turn. Thus you come to a state in which there is no know- ledge, only being, in which being itself is knowledge. To know by being is direct knowledge. It is based on the identity of the seer and the seen. Indirect knowledge is based on sensation and memory, on proximity ~f the perceiver and his percept, con- fined with the contrast between the two. The same with happi- ness. Usually you have to be sad to know gladness and glad to ,;now sadness. True happiness is uncaused and this cannot disappear for lack of stimulation. It is not the opposite of sorrow, it includes all sorrow and suffering.
Q: How can one remain happy among so much suffering?
M: One cannot help it--the inner happiness is overwhelmingly real. Like the sun in the sky, its expressions may be clouded, but it is never absent.
Q: When we are in trouble, we are bound to be unhappy.
M: Fear is the only trouble. Know yourself as independent and you will be free from fear a~d its shadows.
Q: What is the difference between happiness and pleasure?
M: Pleasure depends on things, happiness does not.
Q: If happiness is independent, why are we not always happy?
M: As long as we believe that we need things to make us happy, we shall also believe that in their absence we must be miserable. Mind always shapes itself according to its beliefs. Hence the importance of convincing oneself that one need not be prodded into happiness; that, on the contrary, pleasure is a l YOU ARE BEYOND SPACE AND TIME 487 distraction and a nuisance, for it merely increases the false con- viction that one needs to have and do things to be happy when in reality it is just the opposite. But why talk of happiness at all? You do not think of happi- ness except when you are unhappy. A man who says: 'Now I am happy', is between two sorrows--past and future. This happi- ness is mere excitement caused by relief from pain. Real happi- ness is utterly unselfconscious. It is best expressed negatively as: 'there is nothing wrong with me. I have nothing to worry about'. After all, the ultimate purpose of all sadhana is to reach a point, when this conviction, instead of being only verbal, is based on the actual and ever-present experience. Q; Which experience?
M: The experience of being empty, uncluttered by memories and expectations; it is like the happiness of open spaces, of being young, of having all the time and energy for doing things, for discovery, for adventure.
Q: What remains to discover?
M: The universe without and the immensity within as they are in reality, in the great mind and heart of God. The meaning and purpose of sxistence, the secret of suffering, life's redemption from ignorance.
Q: If being happy is the same as being free from fear and worry, cannot it be said that absence of trouble is the cause of happiness?
M: A state of absence, of non-existence cannot be a cause; the pre-existence of a cause is implied in the notion. Your natural state, in which nothing exists, cannot be a cause of becoming; the causes are hidden in the great and mysterious power of memory. But your true home is in nothingness, in emptiness of all content.
Q: Emptiness and nothingness--how dreadful !
M: You face it most cheerfully, when you go to sleep! Find out for yourself the state of wakeful sleep and you will find it quite in harmony with your real nature. Words can only give you the idea and the idea is not the experience. All I can say is that true hap- piness has no cause and what has no cause is immovable. 488 1 AM THAT Which does not mean It is perceivable, as pleasure. What is perceivab!e is pain and pleasure; the state of freedom from sor- row can be described only negatively. To know it directly you must go beyond the mind addicted to causality and the tyranny of time.
Q: If happiness is not conscious and consciousness--not happy, what is the link between the two?
M: Consciousness being a product of conditions and circums- tances, depends on them and changes along with them. What is independent, uncreated, timeless and changeless, and yet ever new and fresh, is beyond the mind. When the mind thinks of it, the mind dissolves and only happiness remains.
Q: When all goes, nothingness remains.
M: How can there be nothing without something? Nothing is only an idea, it depends on the memory of something. Pure being is quite independent of existence, which is definable and describable.
Q: Please tell us; beyond the mind does consciousness con- tinue, or does it end with the mind?
M: Consciousness comes and goes, awareness shines immu- tably.
Q: Who is aware in awareness?
M: When there is a person, there is also consciousness. 'I am' mind, conscio,usness denote the same state. If you say 'I am aware', it only means: 'I am conscious of thinking about being aware'. There is no 'I am' in awareness.
Q: What about witnessing?
M: Witnessing is of the mind. The witness goes with the witnes- sed. In the state of non-duality all separation ceases.
Q: What about you? Do you continue in awareness?
M: The person, the 'I am this body, this mind, this chain of memories, this bundle of desires and fears' disappears, but somethin~ you may call identity, remains. It enables me to be- come a person when required. Love creates its own neces- sities, even of becoming a person.
Q: It is said that Reality manifests itself as existence--con- YOU ARE BEYOND SPACE AND TIME 489 sciousness--bliss. Are they absolute or relative?
M: They are relative to each other and depend on each other. Reality is independent of its expressions.
Q: What is the relation between reality and its expressions?
M: No relation. In reality all is real and identical. As we put it, saguna and nirguna are one in Parabrahman. There is only the Supreme. In movement, it Is saguna. Motionless, it is nirguna. But it is only the mind that moves or does not move. The real is beyond, you are beyond. Once you have understood that no- thing perceivable, OF conceivable can be yourself, you are free of your imaginations. To see everything as imagination, born of desire, is necessary for self-realization. We miss the real by lack of attention and create the unreal by excess of imagination. You have to give your heart and mind to these things and brood over them repeatedly. It is like cooking food. You must keep it on the fire for some time before it is ready.
Q: Am I not under the sway of destiny, of my karma? What can I do against it? What I am and what I do is pre-determined. Even my so-called free choice is predetermined; only I am not aware of it and imagine myself to be free.
M: Again, it all depends how you look at it. Ignorance is like a fever--it makes you see things which are not there. ~
Questioner: I was here last year. Now I am again before you. What makes me come I really ~o not know, but somehow I can- not forget you.
Maharaj: Some forget, some do not~ according to their destinies, which you may call chance, if you prefer. a Between chance and destiny there is a basic difference.
M: Only in your mind. In fact, you do not know what causes what? Destiny is only a blanket word to cover up your ignor- ance. Chance is another word.
Q: Without knowledge of causes and their results can there be freedom'~
M: Causes and results are infinite in number and variety. Every- thing affects everything. In this universe, when one thing changes, everything changes. Hence the great power of man in changing the world by changing himself.
Q: According to your own words, you have, by the grace of your Guru, changed radically some forty years ago. Yet the world remains as it had been before.
M: My world has changed completely. Yours remains the same, for you have not changed.
Q: How is it that your change has not affected me?
M: Because there was no communion between us. Do not con- sider yourself as sepa~ate from me and we shall at once share in the common state.
Q: I have some property in the United States which I intend to sell and buy some land in the Himalayas. I shall build a house, lay out a garden, get two-three cows and live quietly. People tell ACCEPT LIFE AS IT COMES 491 me that property and quiet are not compatible, that I shall at once get into trouble with officials, neighbours and thieves. Is it inevitable?
M: The least you can expect is an endless succession of visi- tors who will make your abode into a free and open guest- house. Better accept your life as it shapes, go home and look after your wife with love and care. Nobody else needs you. Your dreams of glory will land you in more trouble.
Q: It is not glory that I seek. I seek Reality.
M: For this you need a well-ordered and quiet life, peace of mind and immense earnestness. At every moment whatever comes to you unasked, comes from God and will surely help you, if you make the fullest use of it. It is only what you strive for, out of your own imagination and desire, that gives you trouble. Q; Is destiny the same as grace?
M: Absolutely. Accept life as it comes and you will find it a bles- sing.
Q: I can accept my own life. How can I accept the sort of life others are compelled to live?
M: You are accepting it anyhow. The sorrows of others do not interfere with your pleasures. If you were really compassionate, you would have abandoned long ago all self-concem and en- tered the state from which alone you can really help.
Q: If I have a big house and enough land, I may create an As- hram, with individual rooms; common meditation hall, canteen, library, office etc.
M: Ashrams are not made, they happen. You cannot start nol prevent them, as you cannot start or stop a river. Too many fac- tors are involved in the creation of a successful Ashram and your inner maturity is only one of them. Of course, if you are ig- norant of your real being, whatever you do must turn to ashes. You cannot imitate a Guru and get away with it. All hypocrisy will end in disas~er.
Q: What is the harm in behaving like a saint even before being one? .
M: Rehearsing saintliness is a sadhana. It is perfectly allright. provided no merit is claimed. 492 1 AM THAT
Q: How can I know whether I am able to start an Ashram unless I try?
M: As long as you take yourself to be a person, a body and a mind, separate from the stream of life, having a will of its own pursuing its own aims, you are living merely on the surface and whatever you do will be short-lived and of little value, mere straw to feed the flames of vanity. You must put in true worth before you can expect somethir,g real. What is your worth?
Q: By what measure shall I measure it?
M: Look at the content of your mind. You are what you think about. Are you not most of the time busy with your own little per- son and its daily needs? The value of regular meditation is that it takes you away from the humdrum of daily routine and reminds you that you are not what you believe yourself to be. But even remembering is not enough--action must follgw conviction. Don't be like the rich man who has ma~e a detailed will, but refuses to die.
Q: Is not gradualness the law of life?
M: Oh, no. The preparation alone is gradual, the change itself is sudden and complete. Gradual change does not take you to a new level of conscious being. You need courage to let go.
Q: I admit it is courage that I lack.
M: It is because you are not fully convinced. Complete convic- tion generates both desire and courage. And meditation is the art of achieving faith through understanding. In meditation you consider the teaching received, in all its aspects and re- peatedly, until out of clarity confidence is born and, with confi- dence, action. Conviction and action are inseparable. If action does not follow conviction, examine your convictions, don't ac- cuse yourself of lack of courage. Self-depreciation will take you nowhere. Without clarity and emotional assent of what use is will~
Q: What do you mean by emotional assent? Am I not to act against my desires?
M: You will not act against your desires. Clarity is not enou~h. Energy comes from love--you must love to act--whatever the shape and object of your love. Without clarity and charitY cour- ACCEPT LIFE AS IT COMES 493 age is destructive. People at war are often wonderfully courageous, but what of it?
Q: I see quite clearly that all I want is a house in a garden where I shall live in peace. Why should I not act on my desire?
M: By all means, act. But do not forget the inevitable, unex- pected. Without rain your garden will not flourish. You need courage for adventure.
Q: I need time to collect my courage, don't hustle me. Let me ripen for action.
M: The entire approach is wrong. Action delayed is action abandoned. There may be other chances for other actions, but the present moment is lost--irretrievably lost. All preparation is for the future--you cannot prepare for the present.
Q: What is wrong with preparing for the future?
M: Acting in the now is not much helped by your preparations. Clarity is now, action is now. Thinking of being ready impedes action. And action is the touchstone of reality.
Q: Even when we act without convic.tion?
M: You cannot live without action, and behind each action there is some fear or desire. Ultimately, all you do is based on your conviction that the world is real and independent of yourself. Were you convinced of the contrary, your behaviour would have been ~uite different.
Q: There is nothing wrong with my convictions; my actions are shaped by circumstances.
M: In other words, you are convinced of the reality of your cir- cumstances, of the world in which you live. Trace the world to its source and you will find that before the world was, you were and when the world is no longer, you remain. Find your timeless being and your action will bear it testimony. Did you find it?
Q: No, I did not.
M: Then what else have you to do? Surely, this is the most urgent task. You cannot see yourself as independent of every- thing unless you drop everything and remain unsupported and undefined. Once you know yourself, it is immaterial what you do, but to realize your independence, you must test it by letting go 494 1 AM THAT all you were dependent on. The realized man lives on the level of the absolutes; his wisdom, love and courage are complete, there is nothing relative about him. Therefore he must prove himself by tests more stringent, undergo trials more demanding. The tester, the tested and the set up for testing are all within; it is an inner drama to which none can be a party.
Q: Crucifixion, death and resurrection--we are on familiar grounds! I have read, heard and talked about it endlessly, but to do it I find myself incapable.
M: Keep quiet, undisturbed, and the wisdom and the power will come on their own. You need not hanker. Wait in silence of the heart and mind. It is very easy to be quiet, but willingness is rare. You people want to become supermen overnight. Stay without ambition, without the least desire, exposed, vulnerable, unprotected, uncertain and alone, completely open to and wel- coming life as it happens,.without the selfish conviction that all must yield you pleasure or profit, material or so-called spiritual.
Q: I respond to what you say, but I just do not see how it is done.
M: If you know how to do it, you will not do it. Abandon every at- tempt, just be; don't strive, don't struggle, let go every support, hold on to the blind sense of being, brushing off all else. This is enough .
Q: How is this brushing done? The more I brush off, the more it comes to the surface.
M: Refuse attention, let things come and go. Desires and thoughts are also things. Disregard them. Since immemorial time the dust of events was covering the clear mirror of your mind, so that only memories you could see. Brush off the dust before it has time to settle; this will lay bare the old layers until the true nature of your mind is discovered. It is all very simple and comparatively easy; be earnest and patient, that is all. Dis- passion, detachment, freedom from desire and fear, from all self-concern, mere awareness--free from memory and expec- tation--this is the state of mind to which discovery can happen. After all, liberation is but the freedom to discover. ... Abandon Memories and Expectations 96 Questloner: I am an American by birth and for the last one year I was staying in an Ashram in Madhya Pradesh, studying Yoga in its many aspects. We had a teacher, whose Guru, a disciple of the great Sivananda Saraswati, stays in Monghyr. I stayed at Ramanashram also. While in Bombay I went through an inten- sive course of Burmese meditation managed by one Goenka. Yet I have not found peace. There is an improvement in self- control and day-to-day discipline, but that is all. I cannot say exactly what caused what. I visited many holy places. How each acted on me, I cannot say.
Maharaj: Good results will come, sooner or later. At Sri Ramanashram did you get some instructions?
Q: Yes, some English people were teaching me and also an In- dian follower of gnana yoga, residing there permanently, was giving me lessons.
M: What are your plans?
Q: I have to return to the States because of visa difficulties. I in- tend to complete my B.Sc., study Nature Cure and make it my profession .
M: A good profession, no doubt.
Q: Is there any danger in pursuing the path of Yoga at all cost?
M: Is a match-stick dangerous when the house is on fire? The search for reality is the most dangerous of all undertakings for it will destroy the world in which you live. But if your motive is love of truth and life, you need not be afraid.
Q: I am afraid of my own mind. It is so unsteady! 496 I AM THAT
M: In the mirror of your mind images appear and disappear. The mirror remains. Learn to distinguish the immovable in the movable, the unchanging in the changing, till you realize that all differences are in appearance only and oneness is a fact. This basic identity--you may call God, or Brahman, or the matrix (Prakriti), the words matters little--is only the realization that all is one. Once you can say with confidence born from direct ex- perience: 'I am the world, the world is myself', you-are free from desire and fear on one hand and become totally responsible for the world on the other. The senseless sorrow of mankind be- comes your sole concern.
Q: So even a gnani has his problems !
M: Yes, but they are no longer of his own creation. His suffering is not poisoned by a sense of guilt. There is nothing wrong with suffering for the sins of others. Your Christianity is based on this.
Q: Is not all suffering self-created?
M: Yes, as long as there is a separate self to create it. In the end you know that there is no sin, no guilt, no retribution, only life in its endless transformations. With the dissolution of the per- sonal 'I' personal suffering disappears. What remains is the great sadness of compassion, the horror of the unnecessary pain.
Q: ,Is there anything unnecessary in the scheme of things?
M: Nothing is necessary, nothing is inevitable. Habit and pas- sion blind and mislead. Compassionate awareness heals and redeems. There is nothing we can do, we can only let things happen according to their nature.
Q: Dc you advocate complete passivity?
M: Clarity and charity is action. Love is not lazy and clarity di- rects. You need not worry about action, look after your mind and heart. Stupidity and selfishness are the only evil.
Q: What is better--repetition of God's name, or meditation?
M: Repetition will stabilize your breath. With deep and quiet breathing vitality will improve, which will influence the brain and help the mind to grow pure and stable and fit for meditation. Without vitality little can be done, hence the importance of its protection and increase. Posture and breathing are a part of ABANDON MEMORIES AND EXPECTATIONS 497 Yoga, for the body must be healthy and well under control, but too rnuch concentration on the body defeats its own purpose, for it is the mind that is primary in the beginning. When the mind has been put to rest and disturbs no longer the inner space (chidakash), the body acquires a new meaning and its trans- formation becomes both necessary and possible.
Q: I have been wandering all over India, meeting many Gurus and learning in driblets several Yogas. Is it all right to have a taste of everything?
M: No, this is but an introduction. You will meet a man who will help you find your own way.
Q: I feel that the Guru ot my own choice can not ~e my real Guru. To be real he must come unexpected and be irresistible.
M: Not to anticipate is best. The way ycu respond is decisive.
Q: Am I the master of my responses?
M: Discrimination and dispassion practised now will yield their fruits at the proper time. If the roots are healthy and well- watered, the fruits are sure to be sweet. Be pure, be alert, keep ready.
Q: Are austerities and penances of any use?
M: To meet all the vicissitudes of life is penance enough! You need not invent trouble. To meet cheerfully whatever life brings is all the austerity you need.
Q: What about sacrifice?
M: Share willingly and gladly all you have with whoever needs --don't invent self-inflicted cruelties.
Q: What is self-surrender?
M: Accept what comes.
Q: I feel I am too weak to stand on my own legs. I need the holy company of a Guru and of good people. Equanimity is beyond me. To accept what comes as it comes, frightens me. I think of my returning to the States with horror.
M: Go back and make the best use of your opportunities. Get your B.Sc. degree first. You can always return to India for your Nature Cure studies. 498 1 AM THAT
Q: I am quite aware of the opportunities in the States. It is the loneliness that frightens me.
M: You have always the company of your own self--you need not feel alone. Estranged from it even in India you will feel lonely. All happiness comes from pleasing the self. Please it, after re- turn to the States, do nothing that may be unworthy of the glori- ous reality within your heart and you shall be happy and remain happy. But you must seek the self and, having found it, stay with it.
Q: Will compete solitude be of any benefit?
M: It depends on your temperament. You may work with others and for others, alert and friendly, and grow more fully than in soli- tude, which may make you dull or leave you at the mercy of your mind's endless chatter. Do not imagine that you can change through effort. Violence, even turned against yourself, as in austerities and penance, will remain fruitless.
Q: Is there no way of making out who is realized and who is not?
M: Your only proof is in yourself. If you find that you turn to gold, it will be a sign that you have touched the philosopher's stone. Stay with the person and watch what happens to you. Don't ask others. Their man may not be your Guru. A Guru may be univer- sal in his essence, but not in his expressions. He may appear to be angry or greedy or over-anxious about his Ashram or his fam- ily, and you may be misled by appearances, while others are not.
Q: Have I not the right to expect all-round perfection, both inner and outer?
M: Inner ---yes. But outer perfection depends on circums- tances, on the state of the body, personal and social, and other innumerable factors.
Q: I was told to find a gnani so that I may learn from him the art of achieving gnana and now I am told that the entire approach is false, that I cannot make out a gnani, nor can gnana be con- quered by appropriate means. It is all so confusing!
M: It is all due to your complete misunderstanding of reali~. Your mind is steeped in the habits of evaluation and acquisition ABANWN MEMORIES AND EXPECTATIONS 499 and will not admit that the incomparable and unobtainable are waiting timelessly within your own heart for recognition. All you have to do is to abandon all memories and expectations. Just keep yourself ready in utter nakedness and nothingness.
Q: Who is to do the abandoning?
M: God will do it. Just see the need of being abandoned. Don't resist, don't hold on to the person you take yourself to be. Be- cause you imagine yourself to be a person you take the gnani to be a person too, only somewhat different, better informed and more powerful. You may say that he is eternally conscious and happy, but it is far from expressing the whole truth. Don't trust definitions and descriptions--they are grossly misleading.
Q: Unless I am told what to do and how to do it, I feel lost.
M: By all means do feel lost! As long as you feel competent and confident, reality is beyond your reach. Unless you accept inner adventure as a way of life, discovery will not come to you.
Q: Discovery of what?
M: Of the centre of your being, which is free of all directions, all means and ends.
Q: Be all, know all, have all?
M: Be nothing, know nothing, have nothing. This is the only life worth living, the only happiness worth having.
Q: I may admit that the goal is beyond my comprehension. Let me know the way at least.
M: You must find your own way. Unless you find it yourself it will not be your own way and will take you nowhere. Earnestly live your truth as you have found it--act on the little you have un- derstood. It is earnestness that will take you through, not clever- ness--your own or another's.
Q: I am afraid of mistakes. So many things I tried--nothing came out of them.
M: You gave too little of yourself, you were merely curious, not earnest.
Q: I don't know any better.
M: At least that much you know. Knowing them to be superfi- cial, give no vall)e to your experiences, forget them as soon as 500 1 AM THAT they are over. Live a clean, selfless life, that is all.
(My humble salutations to Advaita Vedanta Library for the collection)
Note: This text may have spelling and grammatical mistakes.
(Continued .......)
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